Shining Light on the Shadows 🌘

In a world that feels increasingly chaotic and hard to grasp, it’s tempting to focus only on the bright side of things. To look for hope, ease, and clarity. But what if we chose the opposite?What if we turned toward the darkness instead of running from it — and took a moment to really see what it holds?

One sentence, often attributed to Valarie Kaur — an activist and thought leader who speaks about justice and the transformative power of love — helped me take that step:

“What if this darkness is not the darkness of the tomb, but the darkness of the womb?”

Just as beauty lies in the eye of the beholder… could it be that by looking differently at what seems negative, we might find something useful — even necessary? Perhaps even a few glimmers of light.

An Ecology of the Negative

Honoring what seems dark as part of life’s natural rhythm

When we think about it, what we label as “negative” is often just a moment in a larger cycle. Night prepares the day. Winter nurtures the spring. Nothing truly new or better can emerge without dismantling what already exists.

In our lives, in our work — what would happen if we chose to honour those messier, more difficult times? The ones where we have to move through discomfort, shake things up, or let things fall apart in order to move forward?

👀 Seeing the “Negative” Differently

Three essential dynamics hidden in the dark

What we experience as darkness often holds three vital forces: destruction, stillness, and emergence.

• 🧨 Destruction : Often seen as loss, destruction can actually create the empty space we need to rebuild. Like a forest renewing itself after a fire, a seed splitting the earth to sprout, or a chick breaking its shell — some forms of destruction are essential steps toward rebirth.

  
  

• ⏸️ Stillness: This is the moment when everything feels paused — when we need to slow down, step back, and wait. Like winter putting nature to rest, the gestation of a child, or the deep rest of sleep, these pauses are necessary to gather the energy for what comes next.

  
  

• 🐣 Emergence: The quiet moment when something new begins to stir — a project, an idea, a change. Often invisible at first, taking shape in the dark, without certainty that anything will come of it. Like a caterpillar pushing against its cocoon, the birth of a child, or snow beginning to melt in spring — this moment cannot be rushed. It must be welcomed

Taken to an extreme, these dynamics can lead to stagnation or threaten the balance of systems. But when they’re present in the right proportion, they feed a living, fertile cycle..

Seeing in the Dark

The paradoxes of the “negative”: unexpected sources of light

When we look closely, the experiences that feel negative in the moment often become turning points — quiet invitations to evolve.They’re never easy to go through, for anyone. But they always carry the seed of transformation.

Here are four that return again and again:

✅ Uncomfortable emotions that shake us

✅ Conflicts that bring us into opposition

✅ Flaws we try to hide

✅ Obstacles that slow us down or push us to adjust our path

Rather than avoiding or hiding them, I’ve learned that the first step is simply to look — and to listen to what they have to offer.

Uncomfortable Emotions: Messengers Worth Listening To

From an early age, we’re taught to hide our feelings. Boys are told not to cry, girls to swallow their anger. In the workplace, emotions are often unwelcome.

And yet — sadness, fear, and anger are powerful signals. Like traffic lights, they point to something important: an unmet need, a boundary crossed, or a situation that calls for adjustment.

Sometimes they arrive like a storm inside — shaking our balance and forcing us to slow down. Rather than pushing them aside, they deserve our time and attention. Because when we take a closer look, we begin to understand what’s really going on… and we’re better able to act — with clarity and intention.

Our Flaws: Unexplored Facets of Ourselves

It took me years to realize that what I saw as a flaw wasn’t necessarily a problem.

We all tend to judge certain parts of our personality:

➡ Too emotional, too quiet, too impulsive, too demanding...

These judgments — often shaped early in life — push us to smooth out our edges to meet expectations.And yet, what we see as limitations may actually be misunderstood strengths.

We’re not perfectly trimmed gardens — we’re wild forests, full of hidden resources. What if what we call a weakness was actually our unique way of being in the world? By welcoming who we are, without trying to fit a mold, we open the door to a more grounded, unapologetic authenticity.

Conflict: Tension as a Force for Growth

"Let’s play nice.""Let’s agree to disagree." 🤐

Many cultures encourage us to avoid conflict. And it’s true — when mishandled, conflict can be destructive. But when approached with care, it can become a powerful source of transformation and innovation.

In my work with clients, I always make a distinction between conflict and confrontation:

🔹 A conflict is a situation of tension or disagreement — it may be visible, but more often it remains unspoken or latent.

🔹 A confrontation is a conscious choice to bring differences and disagreements into the open.

When done with intention, confrontation helps clarify perspectives and adjust relationships. It turns tension into dialogue — and dialogue into creation.

🪨 Obstacles and Mistakes: Turning Points for Growth

When our plans fall apart, we tend to see it as a setback — or even as failure. And yet, it’s often these very obstacles that push us to grow beyond what we thought possible.

A mistake can be frustrating — but it’s also a chance to learn. An obstacle can feel overwhelming — but it pushes us to explore new paths.

These moments demand a pause, a moment of questioning, a time to accept what is.And then, slowly, what once felt like failure reveals itself as a space for emergence — for a response that’s more refined, more aligned.

Finding Harmony in Contrast

The symbol of yin and yang reminds us that every force contains its complementary opposite.

• Light and shadow cannot be separated.

• Sadness helps us accept what is no longer — so that joy can return.

• Anger pushes us to act — so that harmony can be restored.

• Winter prepares the spring, just as rest prepares the next surge of energy.

We often see the positive and the negative as opposites — one to be desired, the other to be avoided.But these forces are deeply connected. They depend on each other

The goal isn’t to eliminate what feels negative — but to learn how to move between both poles.

Because so often, the challenges we face today are the very seeds of tomorrow’s solutions and innovations.

And let’s not forget — what we call “positive” carries its own shadows too.This reflection continues in reverse, in my article The Dark Side of Light… ✨