The Dark Side of Light ☀️

In a world of constant turbulence, relentless positivity is often seen as a goal — an ideal we must strive for. We chase harmony, success, and growth, trying to sustain them at all costs.

But is that always for the best?

This passage from the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu — philosopher and founder of Taoism, which emphasizes simplicity and harmony with nature — led me to reflect:

“When people see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly. When people see some things as good, other things become bad.”

What if we took a more critical look at what we consider “positive”? What if we explored the shadows behind the light? Not out of pessimism — but to see more clearly.

An ecology of positive

We easily forget that positivity is only one part of a larger cycle. A full moon prepares the way for a new one. Summer gives way to autumn. No matter how wonderful something feels, it cannot last forever in that form.

What would happen if we were more mindful during those fruitful moments — when everything is flowing, when things are growing, when we feel successful?

We quickly forget that what we call “positive” is just one moment in a cycle. The full moon makes way for the new moon. Summer comes before fall. We cannot hold on to the status quo — even when it feels good — forever.

In our lives, in our work — what would happen if we stayed more alert during those fertile moments when things are going well, when we’re moving forward, when we’re building?

Life Moves in Spirals

In nature, everything is in motion, carried by three essential forces: expansion, integration, and transmission.

• 🌱 Expansion: When a project grows, we often celebrate its success. Like a plant reaching toward the sun or a river widening with new tributaries, expansion feels like progress. But when it happens too quickly, it can weaken foundations and drain the very resources needed to sustain life.

  
  

• 🔄 Integration: After every transformation comes the need for consolidation. Like a tree thickening its bark and deepening its roots, integration strengthens what has been built. Yet if it turns into rigidity, it prevents evolution and stifles the adjustments needed for change.

  
  

• ✨ Transmission: Nothing is meant to be frozen in time. What we’ve learned, we pass on — like seeds scattered by a tree, nutrients carried by a river, or traditions passed between generations. But when transmission becomes a rule rather than a gift, it limits rather than frees. A rigid corporate culture stifles innovation. Processes repeated without question fail to meet new challenges.

Just as nature doesn’t grow endlessly without balance, we, too, must learn to recognize when each of these movements needs to pause, shift, or transform.

Blinded by the Light

We often don’t see the hidden traps behind what we consider positive. We celebrate these things without realizing they might hold us back as much as they move us forward.

Here are four subtle forms of “positive” that often carry hidden shadows:

• ✅ Forcing positive emotions – which can keep us from embracing the full range of human experience.

• ✅ Superficial harmony – which hides conflict and blocks evolution.

• ✅ Overused strengths – which, when taken too far, become liabilities.

• ✅ Success – which often brings invisible pressure and unrealistic expectations.

Rather than chasing these at all costs, learning to see their limits can help us navigate more wisely between light and shadow.

Toxic Positivity

The hidden trap of always feeling good

From a young age, we’re taught to smile and hide our tears. “Good” emotions are rewarded, while difficult ones are silenced or judged.

But so-called negative emotions serve a vital role. They signal unmet needs, crossed boundaries, or moments that call for change.

Our mirror neurons help us sense others’ emotions instinctively. A sincere smile calms while unspoken tension can weigh down a whole team.

When shared with care, emotions help create meaning and connection. But when forced — like exaggerated optimism — they can isolate rather than unite. The pressure to “always be positive” becomes a burden, not a bridge.

Welcoming the full spectrum of emotions — without exaggeration or denial — helps us respond with clarity and compassion.

The Illusion of Harmony

When avoiding tension keeps us from growing

Early on in our lives, we learn that silence is better than disagreement. We reward those who smooth things over and defuse tension — even if it means silencing what needs to be said.

But peaceful appearances can hide unspoken tension. Like a river that looks calm on the surface but carries strong undercurrents, surface harmony can prevent real expression of disagreement and hold back evolution. Too much consensus can lead to stagnation and stop new ideas from emerging.

Rather than seeking harmony at all costs, it’s essential to welcome diverse perspectives — even when they bring discomfort. It’s in those frictions that innovation is born.

When Personal Strengths Become Constraints

How Our Best Qualities Can Hold Us Back

We take pride in our personal strengths. Being persistent, empathetic, confident — these are qualities we’re encouraged to develop and display.

But every strength, when pushed too far can become a trap. Like a tree stretching too high and losing its grounding, too much discipline becomes rigidity, too much empathy leads to burnout, too much confidence becomes blind.

A strength disconnected from its context loses its usefulness. It needs to adapt to the moment, the environment, the relationships around it.

And often, it’s through feedback — from others, from situations, from our own inner voice — that this adjustment becomes possible.

Rather than clinging to a perfect image of ourselves, let’s embody our qualities with more fluidity. Drive is precious, but flexibility gives it life. A quality is a gift when it breathes — not when it traps us.

When strengths become limitations

We develop our personal qualities with pride. Being persistent, empathetic, or confident — these are traits we learn to value, and that come to define us. Since childhood, we’ve been told they will help us succeed, move forward, be liked, be loved.

But any quality, when pushed too far, can become a trap. Like a tree stretching too far toward the light and weakening its roots, too much discipline leads to inflexibility, too much empathy to exhaustion, too much confidence to blindness. What serves us in one context can hold us back in another.

A quality that grows without being grounded in its environment loses its original value. It needs to be adjusted, integrated into a living context, adapted to the current reality. And it’s often in our relationships with others — through feedback, limits, and reflection — that this integration becomes possible.

Rather than trying to live up to an ideal version of ourselves, it’s more fruitful to inhabit all parts of who we are with flexibility. The drive is precious, but so is adaptation. A quality is truly valuable when it can breathe — not when it becomes a cage.

Success and the Tyranny of Perfection

When achievement creates invisible pressure

We’ve always associated success with recognition, achievement, and a form of personal and professional fulfillment. Success is seen as a destination: reaching a goal, climbing the ranks, pushing beyond our limits.

But behind this pursuit, another expectation often creeps in — quieter, more elusive, and nearly impossible to reach: the demand for perfection.

The cult of success becomes an endless climb, where each summit leads to another, and even the slightest descent is seen as failure. Striving for excellence can quickly trap us in ever-rising expectations — at the risk of burning out. The effort to maintain flawless performance freezes our ability to evolve, even though it’s often through imperfection that the most meaningful breakthroughs emerge.

Rather than treating success as an endpoint, we need to see it as a living process — one made of adjustments, learning, and space to breathe. Accepting that excellence is not a fixed state allows us to free ourselves from the weight of perfection, and move forward with greater flexibility and authenticity.

Contemplating the Shadow Cast by Light

In the philosophy of yin and yang, it’s the movement of one force that allows the other to emerge. Impulse comes from withdrawal, action from reflection, and expansion from constraint.

• Light guides the way — but it’s shadow that reveals the contours of the path.

• Enthusiasm pushes us forward — but it’s doubt that sharpens our direction.

• Harmony soothes — but friction creates movement.

• Expansion opens up possibilities — but stillness allows integration.

What matters is not constantly maximizing what seems positive — but knowing when to speed up, and when to slow down.

Let’s not forget that yesterday’s solutions are often the root of today’s problems. Sometimes, too much light ends up blinding us.

And yet — we rarely remember that even what we call “negative” carries its own light.

✨ In my article Shining Light on the Shadows, I look at the other side of the coin... ✨